Seven reasons why Nickelback rocks:
1. Their songs sound better cranked up;
2. Yes, is always the answer. It’s never a question. Who else could sing about sex in so many different toe-curling, raspy ways;
3. Chad is big enough to carry me anywhere, anytime without getting tired;
4. What better way to irritate your pain-in-the-#ss neighbor than by turning up Something In Your Mouth as you drive by (don’t forget to smile and wave);
5. Who else could make the phrase “all in, balls out” sound appealing;
6. They actually make stalking sound sexy (Follow You Home — and by the way, if he sang this to me, he could follow me home anytime); and
7. They have a song for every mood you could possibly be in: Far Away (sweet/true love); Woke Up This Morning (scorned); Rockstar (fantasy); Animal (horny); Shakin’ Hands (slutty); If Today Was Your Last Day (depressed); Never Again (dumped or neglected); and, well you get the gist of it.
