I have been married to my husband for over eleven years now and we have been together for almost sixteen. I found myself tonight, once again, staring at him as he blissfully lay beside me snoring.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pictured myself literally choking him to death or placing a pillow gently but firmly over his face while I sat on it just to make the hideous bear sounds coming from his mouth stop.
I have turned the show on television I’m watching up to absurd volumes just to hear over the muffler leak beside me, stared at him until the wee hours of the morning wondering if I’ll ever sleep again, and cramming my MP3 player ear buds into my ears so far I thought my ears would bleed.
And, yes, while I can say that I am utterly annoyed and at times so tired I could cry, it all comes down to one thing.
There is nothing on the face of this earth that could be as horrible to me if I no longer heard my husband snoring beside me. I would never be willing to trade silence for my husband. So each time I think about wrapping my fingers around his throat, I find myself wondering how many more nights will I be blessed with him?
How many more breaths will I hear vibrate from his throat before there is complete silence? Once I focus on that thought, I find that the noise is really not so bad, but endearing in a way that I am so very thankful to have someone who loves me and who I love lying beside me each night.
